Wednesday, March 23, 2005

home

Why is it such a struggle this week? Shouldn't I be acutely aware of God in this Holy Week set aside for the purposes of God?
Why, so close to the day of Christ's death, am I still struggling to help my children understand that Easter isn't Jesus' birthday (good try Sophia)? Why does it feel so awkward to talk about Jesus on campus even though we've planned to do that all week? Why do I feel like people just don't care? or don't want to think about it? Why don't I care more??
I had such good intentions this year....to make Holy Week really HOLY...to try to do things in our family and in CSF to build to Good Friday and Easter Sunday....to make this the one holiday that really matters.....but I'm finding it to be alot harder than I thought....
I really can't blame it all on the commercialism of the world....sure, that muddles the message and makes it confusing for my kids; and it's SO much about the bunny that you feel a little foolish bringing up anything else.....
But really, I think the biggest struggle this week is coming from something within me....
its a frustration really....desiring to feel like it's a natural thing to live boldly, to live for Christ...but it's really not natural...at least not in my current state. I read this quote today and it resonated with me:
This world is no native country of yours; go where you will, you are only a foreigner, only a visitor in it. Nothing will ever bring you rest, except being closely united to Jesus.
-Thomas A Kempis
I guess it's not supposed to feel natural right now....in this foreign land. How hard would it be to enjoy something like the 4th of July in, say, Paris? I could wear red, white, and blue...maybe even enjoy a sparkler or two....but I'm guessing it just wouldn't feel like the 4th of July....
What will Holy Week be like in Heaven? Man, I can't wait!!!

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