I went walking with my friend, Apryl, this morning. Over the years one of the things we have worked on together is trying to learn to take a compliment. You know the scenario....someone walks up to you at church and says, "wow! your hair is so cute!" and instead of just smiling and saying, "thanks!", you say something like, "oh, I don't know...it's really too short....but I guess it's just hair, right?.....but I'm not sure how I feel about it...it's soooo short!!"
Really. It's just hair. Just say thanks and move on!
I was thinking about humility and how hard it is for us. We err on both sides.....being egocentric can take different forms...we think of being prideful or arrogant as the major ways we fail at humility....but just as often, I err on the side of beating myself down into a pitiful, pathetic creature, not worthy of love from anyone. We can degrade ourselves, saying things like "I'm such a loser", or "I'm so stupid" or "I'm such a sinner".....which are all kind of true.....but again, the focus is on ME. We need to understand the reality of how big GOD is and how little we are, but I don't think God takes any pleasure or satisfaction from hearing us berate ourselves or tell people how horrible we are. It's still being SELF-centered!
My problem is that I need more "self-forgetfulness". It doesn't matter who I am or what I can do for God or what I've done in the past....what matters is that God is on the throne and that is where my eyes and my attention should be.