Running late for work...I have approximately 1.5 hours between when the kids get on the bus until I need to leave for work. For some reason, I think that translates into getting 2.5 hours of work done.
Decide to skip a shower. Afterall, how dirty can a office-working, exercise-deprived woman be? I'll spend a little extra time on my hair. Maybe they won't notice the lack of showering.
Remember that I don't know how to do my hair. Nothing improves the state it's in.
Choose a cute outfit instead of my normal Dept. of Public Health t-shirt. Maybe they won't notice the hair.
I'm late, but think it's important to pack my lunch so I'm not tempted to grab fast food. Decide on Tuna Salad with Freegan Fritos on top (it's delicious, don't judge!). Boil the eggs while I'm doing my makeup, open the cans of tuna and begin to drain the water off......squirt tuna sludge all over my cute shirt, jeans, floor....
Change clothes. Maybe they won't notice the resdidual tuna smell....or the t-shirt...or the hair....or the fact that I haven't showered....or that I am now 1 hour late for work.