Monday, October 03, 2005
Simple and Honest
Fall Retreat this weekend was awesome. It's such a relief to give up on trying to orchestrate God's activity, and just trust that He will show up and do what's best. During Communion time yesterday I was just struck by how good God is. I was looking around at the community He put me in, and just so thankful that He has been faithful...that students who took a leap to give their lives to Him have seen Him change them and work through them. I was so overwhelmed by how faithful God had been to use His people at UIS to lead and disciple others....how the older guys have been purposeful and sacrificial in the way they invest in the lives of the younger guys...how the women are loving younger women and encouraging them to follow Jesus. It brought me to tears to look around at these students and see God's faithfulness in each of them.
Then JoAnn reminded us of something Pete had said earlier in the weekend....that Jesus's style was simple and honest. Follow Me. As the students came to be served communion, they all answered the question, "Will you follow Jesus?". And as I stood there with the bread and the juice and watched them walk over a big footprint of Jesus', I knew that most of those students really had decided to give it all to Him. And much like Isaiah describes, I felt "undone" to be a witness to the work of such a holy God.
Over the last year, I've become more emotional.....not all of the time, but there are times when I really feel like God moves my emotions in huge ways driving me to tears. I don't have anything against crying necessarily, but it has been unusual for me. Some difficult seasons and circumstances in life had sort of put a callous on my heart. I think I was afraid that if I expressed too much emotion, the floodgates would open and I would never get them shut. So I guess I decided not to feel anything....when I finally realized what had happened, I knew I had to pray for God to soften me and allow me to feel again. So, apparently, He has. Hence the crying through worship and communion. So, if you happen to see me with tissues and red eyes, praise God. He is faithful!
at 2:39 PM