Monday, March 30, 2009

Firsts

Today we experienced a first with our newly adopted daughter, Selah.

Today was the first time our daughter defiantly turned to me and said, "me go back to Ethiopia!!"

It was over something silly - I corrected her for hitting/swatting at me when she was play-fighting with me. She said it with a grin on her face....but it still hurt.

What she sees is a mommy who loves her and smiles even when she says hateful things. What she doesn't see is the insecurity that sometimes wonders if she really wishes she could go back.

5 comments:

Amanda said...

I had an experience like this with our son about a month and a half ago. It was difficult. The only thing that made me feel remotely better was our daughter who promptly told me that she wasn't leaving me for anything.

Gretchen Magruder said...

Logically, I know it's perfectly normal. Of course she wants to go back - it's her home! Everything she's ever known is there!! But still...

Frances Williams said...

wow, i know how you feel. Because he is 2, Yonni can't communicate as well as well, the rest of us. There are moments that he looks at me and I am just wondering what is going on in his little mind and praying that it isn't "I want to go back". I must say, his little snuggles and everything else assures me he is happy, but I feel the insecurity as well!

gigglechirp said...

Hugs to you! I expect this someday, too, even though Mamush's ideas on Ethiopia will be through photos, etc. and not remembering.

I know that it will most certainly sting.

I hope I remember when I'm feeling that sting that when I was growing up I dreamed of running away a lot! I recall often wanting to just be somewhere else. And, this was with living in a great home with all kinds of love and not hurtin' for pretty much anything... I hope I remember that I said and still say plenty of things I don't mean AT ALL...

Love to you all!

Unknown said...

sigh...with a hug included.

i know i've said the same thing more than a few times and i'm thankful that god knows better and has a better plan. she'll know too, god knows better and has a better plan.

 This quote was part of my Lectio365 Sabbath devotion this morning, and as I considered what this day should look like, I began considering ...