When we first brought Selah home from Ethiopia almost 16 months ago, we knew that attachment (creating a physiological, emotional, permanent connection between our adopted daughter and Todd and I) would be a process. We pulled our family close together for several months, being intentional about snuggling and touching, helping her understand our commitment to her and what it means to be a Magruder. And as we found our way to a new normal, we were less and less intentional.
Today as I talked to my mom about various parenting issues with our girls, I was reminded that many of my battles with Selah often come back to this process of attachment and the need to teach 6 years of trust, respect, honesty, and love to my daughter in an intentional way. I don't guess adoptive parents (or any parents, for that matter) are ever done teaching those lessons.
I wish it was easier.
I wish it came more naturally.
I wish my heart wasn't so ugly sometimes.
One thing I know, without a doubt, is that I am not capable of doing this thing, loving this child, parenting these children on my own strength...with my own abilities. It doesn't matter how much I read, how clever I am, how much patience I have (or lack).....I'm in desperate need of something bigger than that.
My dread-wearing internet friend, Christine, shares from the trenches of attachment parenting:
(thanks, Owlhaven, for the reminder!)