Thursday, March 03, 2005

Self-Absorbed...

The CSF Celebration Dinner is tomorrow night. It's kind of a big deal...I mean, we cook a big meal, people get dressed up, parents, alumni, church and university people come.....and we kind of show off CSF....

Here's the thing....I often forget that the night is about GOD. I get distracted with whether or not there'll be enough food? will the speakers do a good job and make sense? Is the slide show going to get done? will people actually bid on the silent auction stuff? if they don't bid, what will we do with the left-over stuff? will people think we're lame if we don't sell alot of stuff? will people be generous and give towards the mission trips?

I know....Todd is amazed at what a freak I am, too....but I ususally rationalize my worrying to myself by saying that I'm just trying to do a good job.

But the truth is.....It's all about me.

I don't want to look foolish. I want the ministry to look important and successful. I want people to say it was a great event.

Dumb.

Compared to how good God is, I'll never measure up, so why do I even try? Why don't I just rest in the fact that God is good, and if He's the focus of the dinner, it'll be awesome!!?

"The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever." Isaiah 32:17

1 comment:

Michael Tosh said...

I didn't know you had a blog! Its awsome. So my thought...You and Todd do so much for so many people you should be proud. Now don't freak out. I know Pride is a deadly sin. Thats not what I am talking about. We are all tools for God. I think of it this way...God owns this Car shop called Earth. He picks people to be his mechanics. Thats you and Todd, us csfers are the broken cars that need fixed. There is nothing wrong with feeling proud that you have done a great job for God...there is something wrong with pride away from God after all he owns the shop and gave you the skill to be the mechanic. But what you and Todd do is amazing! You fix the car and then you teach them to fix others...you make new mechanics! Sometimes YOUR car is broken and you need help. Thats why there is more than one mechanic out there. In the end after all the cars are fixed as best we can we need fuel...its called the Holy Spirit. When the cars leave the shop fueled and fixed we are all trying to get to the same place...to God...Jesus is the headlights...he makes darkness go away so we can see our way to God. You and Todd help get us cars on the road to God...Thank you so much.