Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Solitude

1 Corinthians 9:27 (New International Version)

27No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

Okay, so first of all, anyone can look at me and know that my body is not my slave....I am not the master of self-discipline, as I can easily be tempted by a warm chocolate chip cookie or frosted brownie.

I do, however, desire to take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5

It's hard sometimes. Trying to really slow my mind down and completely empty it of everything but God. Have you tried it recently? Ever?! So I was taking some time to try to hear God...I found a quiet place...chose a word to help me focus, "Abba", saying it as I breathed slowly in and out....every time my mind wandered, I tried to bring it back to "Abba".....but here's what happened in my head this time....

I ran my hands through my hair as I meditated.

"Wow", I thought...."I need a haircut".

"Monique's new cut looks cute"...."oh wait"..."Abba"....."Abba".....

"Did she get it colored, too? or just cut?"

"Pretty cool that she got the part of Maria in The Sound of Music this summer at the Muni!"

"Agh!!' "Abba...Abba....clear my mind...Abba"

And then I find myself humming "I am sixteen, going on seventeen"....

Sometimes it comes easier than others.

I guess that's why Paul wrote those phrases in a way to indicate that spiritual growth and maturity is a process...something that takes practice. I wonder if God is at all amused by my thoughts.....




1 comment:

Nanette said...

Gretchen,

I can totally relate. I think we all can. As much as I love to go up to the 9th floor of my building and sit in the stairwell on the massive window ledge and look out at God's amazing creation, even sitting there looking at the work of HIS hands, my mind wanders. I'm looking at the vastness of the ocean, wonderful trees, and the greenest grass I've ever seen, and still my mind isn't completely focused. I have found, however, that the more I try to be conscious of HIM, the more I find myself recognizing Him in the litte things. So, I guess I'm just saying that you're right, it is a process-sometimes a slow one at that. :)

I love reading your stuff...:)

Nanette