Sunday, November 02, 2014

Grief shows up at strange times.

Years pass.  Jobs change.  Life is full with kids' activities and personal challenges and new friends.   And then, one evening over dinner with another couple, I realize that things aren't as raw as they used to be.  As they share about their own brain injury story,  it brings back memories of drowning... flooded with sadness, confusion, and a complete loss of control.   The other voices at the table become faint as I think to myself,  "it's been a long time since I've felt that way", and silently pat myself on the back for coming so far.

Yet the next day I find myself in a tailspin.  Paralyzed and unable to make decisions, fearful and overwhelmed.  What in the world?!  Where did this come from?  I seriously think I might be losing my mind until I recognize my old companion, Grief.    It's come back to the surface after a night of remembering with friends.

The reality hasn't changed.  "The new normal" seems more normal.  But grief reminds me that
1) It's hard.  It sucks.  The world may move on, but this brain injury will always be part of our family.
2) God is good.  He has rescued me from the mirey clay and put my feet upon a rock.  We have hope.

15 years ago, everything changed.  I had almost forgotten until my mini-freak-out this week.    Thankful for a reminder to remember.

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