being cool

So, there are 2 things that I think could improve my "coolness" factor...

Coffee.

Drinking coffee is cool. Even more than that, being able to order coffee and know what you're talking about is cool. The smell is cool, the look of those cool cups you get from panera or starbucks...they serve coffee in cool places like Barnes and Noble...

I don't like coffee. I like the smell of coffee, but I can't drink it. I've tried. When I competed in forensics in college and needed to be alert early in the morning, I forced myself to drink it. I tried milk, I tried sugar. Ick.

So I drink dt. soda instead...how cool is it to invite somone to "go have a diet soda?". Much cooler to say "Let's grab a cup of coffee".

Running.

I think it would be cool to be a runner. People who run seem smart, for some reason. Like, who do you think is more intelligent...someone who does aerobics? or someone who runs? I don't know why running seems smarter, but it does. I'd like to have those nice runner's legs....buy special running shoes...maybe even have a special runners watch...and then I'd really need that Ipod so I could put it in that little pocket and listen to podcasts or Louie's sermons while I ran.

In high school I tried to run. I got about 1 1/2 blocks. I don't mind walking, though. Maybe there's still hope...I could walk 5 minutes and run 2....

who am I kidding?

I guess I'm just destined to not be cool.

Sarah Jane performs at her very first piano recital! All of the 1st Grade students who take private piano or violin lessons were invited to play for their parents and classmates. Sarah Jane played Go For The Gold and did a great job!!  

It's Official

Alright. It's Official.

The Magruders are ghetto.

I realized it today when the power locks on Todd's car, which haven't worked for about 2 years, locked and wouldn't let me out of the car. The driver's side door would not unlock. I was seen by our associate minister crawling out the passenger side of the door in the RCC parking lot.

sigh.

But I had a great power walk with Erin this afternon....well, kind of power....we pretty much walked for 5 minutes, then stopped to talk to people....then walked for another 5 minutes and stopped to talk to people. But we did get to see the LLCC pond and the geese that live there!!

Oh, and I talked to my old boss, Steve Schwark, about finishing my thesis/project/comprehensive this Fall....just finishing something..I don't care what it is.....woo hoo!!

Sugar Coma

Our family is now experiencing the Post-Easter Sugar Coma....half-eaten chocolate bunnies...jelly beans lost under the couch cushions, and colored eggs sitting in the fridge....ahhhh....it's a good feeling!!

Handel's Messiah

Okay, so we usually save Handel's Messiah for Christmas....as a matter of fact, I play it almost non-stop through the Christmas season, but it sure makes sense to dig it out today:

Worthy is the lamb that was slain
and has redeemed us to GOD
by his blood

to receive power and riches and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and blessing!!

You might need the choir and orchestra behind the words to get the chills I'm getting this morning.....

Blessing, Glory, and Honor be unto Him!!

Twas the Night Before Easter

What a great day! Since the Passover Meal is fresh in my mind, I've kinda felt like one of those Jewish families, preparing for a big feast, all day long trying to take opportunities to talk to the girls about why we're doing certain things....in Aldi, having to remind the girls that our family doesn't make Easter about gifts.....in Meijer (yeah, alot of shopping today) talking about wearing our Easter Best to celebrate Jesus' resurrection....coloring Easter eggs and talking about ways to decorate them to symbolize new life.....making Empty Tomb cookies and using the different ingredients to re-tell the Easter story.....it's been a great day....and it will be an even greater tomorrow!!

Anyone who doesn't have family to eat with....you're invited to the Magruders at Noon!! (Scratch that....come at 1:30 to eat!!)

I am loved!!

A care package was delivered to my house today for me....not my minister-husband, not my cute kids....to me. Candy, Lily Bulbs to plant, post-it's shaped like the letter "G", a gift certificate for a manicure...and lots more. What a great day!!! Thanks anonymous friends, whoever you are!!

home

Why is it such a struggle this week? Shouldn't I be acutely aware of God in this Holy Week set aside for the purposes of God?

Why, so close to the day of Christ's death, am I still struggling to help my children understand that Easter isn't Jesus' birthday (good try Sophia)? Why does it feel so awkward to talk about Jesus on campus even though we've planned to do that all week? Why do I feel like people just don't care? or don't want to think about it? Why don't I care more??

I had such good intentions this year....to make Holy Week really HOLY...to try to do things in our family and in CSF to build to Good Friday and Easter Sunday....to make this the one holiday that really matters.....but I'm finding it to be alot harder than I thought....

I really can't blame it all on the commercialism of the world....sure, that muddles the message and makes it confusing for my kids; and it's SO much about the bunny that you feel a little foolish bringing up anything else.....

But really, I think the biggest struggle this week is coming from something within me....

its a frustration really....desiring to feel like it's a natural thing to live boldly, to live for Christ...but it's really not natural...at least not in my current state. I read this quote today and it resonated with me:

This world is no native country of yours; go where you will, you are only a foreigner, only a visitor in it. Nothing will ever bring you rest, except being closely united to Jesus.
-Thomas A Kempis

I guess it's not supposed to feel natural right now....in this foreign land. How hard would it be to enjoy something like the 4th of July in, say, Paris? I could wear red, white, and blue...maybe even enjoy a sparkler or two....but I'm guessing it just wouldn't feel like the 4th of July....

What will Holy Week be like in Heaven? Man, I can't wait!!!

Isaiah 53

Isaiah 53 - The Message

1Who believes what we've heard and seen?

Who would have thought GOD's saving power would look like this?

2The servant grew up before God--a scrawny seedling,
a scrubby plant in a parched field.
There was nothing attractive about him,
nothing to cause us to take a second look.
3He was looked down on and passed over,
a man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand.
One look at him and people turned away.
We looked down on him, thought he was scum.

4But the fact is, it was our pains he carried--
our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us.
We thought he brought it on himself,
that God was punishing him for his own failures.
5But it was our sins that did that to him,
that ripped and tore and crushed him--our sins!
He took the punishment, and that made us whole.
Through his bruises we get healed.

6We're all like sheep who've wandered off and gotten lost.
We've all done our own thing, gone our own way.
And GOD has piled all our sins, everything we've done wrong,
on him, on him.
7He was beaten, he was tortured,
but he didn't say a word.
Like a lamb taken to be slaughtered
and like a sheep being sheared,
he took it all in silence.
8Justice miscarried, and he was led off--
and did anyone really know what was happening?
He died without a thought for his own welfare,
beaten bloody for the sins of my people.
9They buried him with the wicked,
threw him in a grave with a rich man,
Even though he'd never hurt a soul
or said one word that wasn't true.

10Still, it's what GOD had in mind all along,
to crush him with pain.
The plan was that he give himself as an offering for sin
so that he'd see life come from it--life, life, and more life.
And GOD's plan will deeply prosper through him.
11Out of that terrible travail of soul,
he'll see that it's worth it and be glad he did it.
Through what he experienced, my righteous one, my servant,
will make many "righteous ones,"
as he himself carries the burden of their sins.

12Therefore I'll reward him extravagantly--
the best of everything, the highest honors--
Because he looked death in the face and didn't flinch,
because he embraced the company of the lowest.
He took on his own shoulders the sin of the many,
he took up the cause of all the black sheep.

It's amazing how there's no snow anywhere between here and Grand Rapids, Michigan...then as you round the bend into Grand Rapids, it starts to appear everywhere...and it must have snowed for about half the time we were there....but it's great if you're only there for the weekend!! We played in the snow with my brother's family and my parents...then triesd a little cross-country skiing! 

Cute Cousins playing in the snow 

Rez Week pictures??

Can somebody take some pictures of the pinwheels before they blow away today? We're headed out to campus this afternoon to make the rounds and pick any up that have fallen over.....

Todd said last night was awesome....

It's Rez Week!!!

It's Rez Week!! I can't wait to get out to campus today and see the pinwheels!!

Things have been so crazy...Everyone gone for Spring Break, going to Michigan, just taking care of life....I want to slow down...I want to savor this week....I don't want to just cram it full of stuff and be exhausted at the end of it....

It's too important.

more than Christmas

more than Welcome Week

more than plastic eggs and pinwheels

my whole faith rests on this week.

He loved us. We blew it. He still loved us. He found a way to rescue us. He had to die to do it. But he didn't stay in the tomb. He's the only one to ever come back from the dead. He really does love us.

Amazing.

Being a Christian Hedonist

On beautiful spring days like these, it's easy to enjoy God....I'm so much more alert to creation...I actually get outside IN it....my mood is happy, expectant, almost giddy with the coming of warmer days...

Some have suggested that it's selfish and self-centered to be so pleased by God...that we are to please HIM, not the other way around....Is that what God wants? A work horse to put their head down and get it done? Or does he desire me to sit in the backyard, lay in the grass, be giddy with the excitement of Spring and all He's created?

John Piper wrote this great book called "Desiring God". When I read it a few years back it was the first time I had heard the term "Christian Hedonist", but it made so much sense!! God wants us to delight in Him...to be giddy about Him....to have our breath taken away by Him...Some people think this sounds like we're taking God for granted...like the hippy who just says "God is love" and that's the end of it. That's not what I mean. It's taking the view that the Christian life is not about doing or saying the things that will make God happy in order to bring glory to Him. John Piper's premise is this, "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him." He is not glorified by us doing things just because we think it'll make Him happy...Piper describes it like a husband going to his wife on their anniversary and saying, "I got you these beautiful flowers because that is my job as a husband on this special day." How unromantic is that?! In the same way, how does God feel when we approach him out of "duty"? Instead, I think God loves those times when we sing in the shower to Him...loudly....when I dance around the kitchen with my kids.....when I lay in the backyard and think about how beautiful the Spring is.....

In my bible study this morning Beth Moore compiles some other thoughts on the subject....

"God is glorified not only by His glory's being seen, but by its being rejoiced in. When those who see it delight in it, God is more glorified than if they only see it." - Jonathan Edwards, 1755

"If there lurks in most modern minds the notion that to desire our own good and earnestly to hope for the enjoyment of it is a bad thing, I submit that this notion has crept in from Kant and the Stoics and is no part of the Christian faith. Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased." -CS Lewis

So is it wrong to enjoy life, enjoy playing with my girls in the backyard, enjoy singing loudly or eating good food? I think God LOVES it when I recognize that all those good gifts come from Him....

No right turn on red when children present

That traffic sign drives me nuts....I mean, if they're going to produce thousands of these signs and post them at intersections in order to communicate an expectation of me, the driver, then I think they could have been a little more specific.....

By "when children present", does that mean if children are present anywhere?? If children are present inside the school on the corner? Only if children are visible to the driver? What if they're playing on a fenced in playground or backyard nearby? Is it only if there are children present on the streetcorner, waiting to cross? Or does it mean that I can't turn right on a red light when there's a child directly in my path, walking across the street?? In which case, duh....I wouldn't hit a kid, right?

Who do I complain to about this important issue?

Okay, I guess it's not that important, but it still bugs me.

Life, Interrupted

Interruptions are frustrating to me. Maybe that's because I feel like I've got a million things to do on any given day and I like to have a plan of how to get them all done (or at least a few).....

I heard something yesterday that got me thinking about how Jesus handled interruptions in his life. Then I started thinking that it seems most of his life was an interruption...at least the 3 years of ministry we see in the gospels. I mean, look at his average day....

In Luke Chapter 4, he's teaching in the synagogue on the Sabbath when a man possessed by a demon interrupts, and Jesus orders the evil spirits to leave him...

Later that day Jesus goes to the home of Simon to rest, and Jesus ends up healing Simons mom as well as a bunch of other people who come...the text says "laying hands on each one"...

The next day he got up while it was still dark to go to a solitary place, and the people followed him...

Later in Luke 5:16 is says that Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed...holy cow! He'd have to....can you even imagine having people clamor around you all the time? How exhausting...people with physical problems, emotional issues, in need of healing or food or hope...all wanting to see you, touch you, hear you....

Jesus did build alone time into his life. But his public days really seemed to belong to the people around him. What did his "to do" list look like every day? Did he have goals for the day that just took a back seat to the interruptions of those around him? Or was his to do list those interruptions?

How much more effective would I be as a minister (and I mean that in the sense that every believer is a minister) if my to do list would have at the very top of it "Be interruptible"? If the most important thing in my day was meeting the needs of the people around me? No doubt, Jesus understood that those interruptions in his day weren't unexpected, but were all part of the plan. What if I understood the same about my day?

So, I'm still going to make a "to do" list today....on it will be things like:

write thank you notes
order stuff from Jews for Jesus
send out support letters
pay bills
arrange Friday night meals
pick up paige and jacks for pre-school
walk with Sally
buy birthday gifts for Ben and Mom
wedding gift for Danah
clean dining room

But maybe at the top, I'll put "Welcome Interruptions".

Super-Hero Drew Hibbard and Sophia the Dinosaur



Just thought I'd finish up my bragging on Drew with a photo....that I figured out how to publish BY MYSELF!!!! Wow!! Sometimes I scare myself.....

Drew Hibbard is my hero!!

Thanks to Drew for helping me figure out how to fix my email....life can now return to normal, as I go back to being CSF's version of Cynthia Thompson, mailing out frequent emails to uncaring students who have my emails direct deposited into the trash.....

I'm having a great Saturday...as they were meant to be....lounging, playing with the kids, and later we're off to see The Incredibles so Todd can share his love of Super Heroes with the girls!

CSF last night was awesome....focused worship, everyone was more relaxed (or relieved) ....Todd got us pumped for Rez Week....everyone's working hard to get ready.....if you're not involved yet, be looking for an email this week (remember to check your junk file!) about all the different ways to get involved beginning on Sunday night, March 20th.....

You have a Mission!!

Where are you Tech Support Super-Hero???

So, I tried to fix my own email....and now I can't receive email, either.

H-E-L-P!!!!

"Spring" break

So it's the beginning of Spring Break at UIS, and it's SNOWING!! Ugh.
Not that it matters, because we really don't get a break this year...LLCC, UIS, and Rochester schools all have different weeks, so we pretty much just have to stick around here. I guess that's not so bad....but SNOW???

Talked to Erin in England this morning...they made it safe and sound with no problems...have fun girls!!

Our email isn't working and it's driving me crazy....I think I'm still receiving most of my emails, but I can't reply or write new emails because it says "this message could not be sent because connecting to the server failed. The server may be unavailable or is refusing this connection"....ugh.....please contact my network administrator? that would be my brother who's way too busy to fix my computer...

Ugh....technology.

Anybody who knows how to fix this, please contact me....but don't expect me to email you back.

The Edge is tonight...can't wait to see all of those relieved college students who are done with mid-terms!! And, my friends from church are cooking a Mexican Fiesta for dinner - woo hoo!!

podcasting

If you've ever wondered why I turned out the way I did, you might be interested in my brother Pete's Podcast. "What is a Podcast?", you might ask....It's kind of a blog-meets radio program-meets SNL...and it's a downloadable mp3 file. Anyway, if you listen to Pete and Janet's show, that's pretty much like our family get-togethers.....

www.Illinoise.net

A missionary moment.....

So our friends from Kosovo just left....actually, it's Kosova....it's just dumb americans who call it Kosovo...it's right there with Macedonia, Albania, and Bulgaria....

It's good to talk to missionaries about America. Karl and Jill didn't have anything negative to say about the US, but just talking to them about their lives got me thinking about how screwed up our country is as far as priorities, and what's REAL LIFE.

Take clothes, for instance. In most countries, people wear their clothes for at least 2 days before washing them. Here, we may wear something for a few hours and throw it in with the dirty clothes. Showering is the same....obviously with the amount of moisturizer I require, my skin could use me skipping a shower once in awhile. Now, I might have to do double-duty on the deodorant, but that wouldn't be so bad....

Americans are fat. Is there any country as fat as us?? My friends have to make everything from scratch...brownies, pancakes, cream of mushroom soup....they buy bread almost every day...baked fresh...because it doesn't have preservatives to keep for longer than a day or so. They walk. In Kosova, no one (except the government) even owned a car until the mid-80's.

We are rich...the reality is that the majority of people in this world struggle to find food, shelter and clothing. In Kosova it gets very cold for about 4 months out of the year. Families huddle into one room of the house to sleep because it's so hard to heat their houses. Jill told us about friend who had to cut down her fruit tree in the front yard for firewood....even thought the tree could have provided fruit for years and it only provided heat for about 2 days, their need for heat was immediate.

We hoard the Gospel. Karl and Jill have been in Kosova for 4 years, visiting homes in their village, teaching English, opening a computer lab and teaching local kids, providing food and clothing for people who need it, hosting dinners in their own homes...In the first 3 years, only 1 person accepted Christ. How discouraging would that be?! Wouldn't you think that a formerly communist country who had lost thousands in a war would be hungry for the Gospel?? They've had 3 more people accept Christ this year, and fruit is beginning to grow.....but this is a country where people know nothing about Jesus!! And we sit at home wondering if we've got the money or the time to go overseas for 2 weeks or 2 months or 2 years....not feeling "called" or not caring or just not thinking about it at all. I want to have God's eyes as he looks at people in Kosova or Prague or Eritrea or Russia....I wouldn't be so focused on the temporary crap of my house, my job, my stuff.

When we go to Mexico to build houses, I love the feeling I get. You work hard all day. When you go to bed, you sleep hard. Everything you eat tastes amazing because you're so hungry. And we're so focused on our purpose there that you can't help but be aware of God. I know it's probably easy to fall into a rut even in Mexico or Kosova, but isn't that the slightest bit attractive to anyone else?? Not thinking about getting a new car or an ipod, or giving up credit cards and laptops and just working hard....going where God wants us to go...sharing Jesus with people who have never heard or understood?

How about thinking about Rez Week with those eyes?

God, help me see a hurting world. Dump out everything in me that cares about me....and give me eyes to see people and prioritize things the way you do.

Sam's Club

If I were homeless, I'd hang out at Sam's Club.

Do you know that over the lunch hour (and I'm guessing the dinner hour, too) they have free samples all over that store? Today Sophia and I ran in there for a few things and here's what we sampled:

roasted potatoes
carmel and cheese rice cakes (surprisingly good!)
pizza roll
sausage biscuit
britta water
apple pie

granted, you only get like 2-3 bites of each thing, but really, once you have 3 bites of 5 different foods, that's practically a meal!! I remember before we had kids, sometimes Todd and I would go to Sam's Club for a cheap date!!

Okay, so then after we were done with our shopping, it was lunch time, and even though I really wan't hungry, I wasn't really full either.....and Sophia asked if we could get something at the food court....so we split this awesome piece of Buffalo Chicken pizza, a drink, and a cup of ice cream...all for $3.75!! What a deal!! It was amazing pizza...a huge piece...not too spicey, with a great ranch sauce and just enough garlic and cheese.....mmmmmm......

So, that's my newest suggestion for a date....Sam's Club food court and appetizers complements of the tester ladies.

Self-Absorbed...

The CSF Celebration Dinner is tomorrow night. It's kind of a big deal...I mean, we cook a big meal, people get dressed up, parents, alumni, church and university people come.....and we kind of show off CSF....

Here's the thing....I often forget that the night is about GOD. I get distracted with whether or not there'll be enough food? will the speakers do a good job and make sense? Is the slide show going to get done? will people actually bid on the silent auction stuff? if they don't bid, what will we do with the left-over stuff? will people think we're lame if we don't sell alot of stuff? will people be generous and give towards the mission trips?

I know....Todd is amazed at what a freak I am, too....but I ususally rationalize my worrying to myself by saying that I'm just trying to do a good job.

But the truth is.....It's all about me.

I don't want to look foolish. I want the ministry to look important and successful. I want people to say it was a great event.

Dumb.

Compared to how good God is, I'll never measure up, so why do I even try? Why don't I just rest in the fact that God is good, and if He's the focus of the dinner, it'll be awesome!!?

"The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever." Isaiah 32:17

Someone is coming all the way from Kosova to visit me!!!

Our friends, K and J, are missionaries in Kosovo. We met K and J way back in like 1994 or 1995 when the campus ministry first started, and J was in the TEP program at SSU. They soon became our very best friends....a married couple where both husbands were in seminary at LCS and both wives were...well, stunningly attractive, articulate, and refined...

So, about 4 years ago, they picked up and moved to Kosovo to tell people about Jesus...people who don't necessarily want to hear about Jesus...they only have electricity for part of the day, running water intermittantly, and have raised 3 kids there. K and J are my heroes, and they're coming to visit on Sunday. I can't wait. The best thing will be just hanging out...no agenda, no special trips, no pretense....we can just pick up where we left off, tell stories about campus and about Kosovo, and watch our kids get to know eachother (they have 2 boys who will one day marry our 2 girls!).

I can't wait!!

Scrambled Eggs

I ruined the scrambled eggs this morning.

I mean, they were so bad, I had to throw them out....6 eggs...wasted.

I should know how to make scrambled eggs. For the last 2 months we've had eggs for breakfast every day. Fried eggs, scrambled eggs, omlets....it's not like I don't know how to make scrambled eggs:

crack eggs into a bowl
add milk
beat eggs and milk
pour into hot skillet
add cheddar cheese (a Magruder tradition)
salt and pepper

I think this morning I added too much milk. I never measure, just slop some in....and then there's the cheese...that shredded cheddar has alot of water in it....so the eggs were a runny, gooey mess. Todd tried to pretend they weren't that bad, but there was no way I was going to eat them, so I dumped them in the trash and started over.

I think making eggs was just getting a little bit too routine. I didn't think about what I was doing, didn't consider how much milk I was adding, getting lazy and adding cheese too early....how many other things in my life are the same way...it get's routine and gets sloppy.

Marriage is like that sometimes...you forget that it needs attention...not just slopping in as much criticism or correction as I like, or adding the cheese too early. And when you first start cooking, you have no idea that there's a problem...it's only as things heat up that you realize it's not getting fluffy...that it's runny and gooey and not very appealing.....

Ministry can be like that, too....going through the motions, doing the same stuff you always do, but getting a little sloppy with it....you do the work and put in the time and after a little while, you realize that things aren't setting up the way they should...that it doesn't look quite right....

I know I've probably done it a hundred times....thank God for prodding me when I've added too much milk....when I need to pay attention to what I'm doing...

I may not have done the eggs right, but today's a day when I'm paying attention to you, God. I don't want to get sloppy with the things you've entrusted to me.


I will follow you
This world has nothing for me
I will follow you